Rage Inside the Machine

In an average week, where are you most likely to get angry at other people? You may first think of the workplace, or home. What about, where you are most likely to get angry, and then convince yourself that it was another person's fault? You might still think of the same place. But what about where you are most likely to get angry, convince yourself it was the other person's fault, and then get increasingly angry as you make more mistakes yourself? Maybe your answer has changed now. For me, I think this is a typcial routine for drivers.

In the sealed metal body which we use to transport ourselves from A to B, no-one can hear you scream. Which is a good thing when you are furiously insulting the idiot who just swerved in front of you at that junction where they should have given way and let you go first. Most people won't stop, get out of their car and try to converse with someone who has done them wrong on a journey, so we are forced to sit in our seats and simmer in our own hatred.

Seeking God, Doubting Church

I haven't doubted the existence of God for a long time. The creator of the universe has been too big and too apparent in my life for that to happen. I believe God exists, and that I am in relationship with Him, but I have doubted the western church.

All of the churches that I have gone to in the U.K. have the same format: First, the congregation sings some songs. Then, someone preaches a sermon. The songs and sermon format has been a universal experience for me across both traditional and charismatic churches, but I have found myself wondering if the songs and sermon are at all related to a relationship with the creator of the universe.

Do you remember how big Cars are?

There could be a scale of human inventions, sorted by size and simplicity. Where on this scale will you find the most common vehicle in the western world?

The Small, The Big...

On the small end of the mechanical scale, we have examples like wrist watches, light bulbs, and pens.

These are simple enough that we can use them every day without effort, and also small enough to be replaced without much care if one stops working. If a pen that I was writing with ran dry, it would be more likely that I would reach for a new pen, and less likely that I would burst into tears.

On the large end of the mechanical scale, we have machines which construct skyscrapers, dig tunnels through the earth, and look good in James Bond movies.

Emotions Apart

How many people on the far side of planet earth are you close friends with? In the age of the internet, where conversation cares nothing for physical distance, how many people do you know really well that have never been geographically close to you?

What if Emotions are like Distance?

Our emotions, both big and small, appear to define a part of our relationships with other people. Namely, how close or far we feel from each of them.

How, after a social activity, do you measure if you have spent good quality time with another person? It is possible to do the same activity, and do it together, but not feel that you have really "connected" with your friend?

Grades of the Sexes

Boys and girls each have a different way of judging, from first impressions, whether a member of the opposite sex is worth chasing. In fact they are not just different ways, they are the complete opposite.

Imagine that everyone has an imaginary score they give the opposite sex when they first meet them, and maybe get to know them a bit. Let's say it starts from zero at the bottom and goes to the highest and sexiest mark of 100. If you're in the market, you want to find a high scorer.

So both the male and female species have the same target so far. What's opposite about them? The way they work out the marking...

Art vs. Self Expression

It seems like everyone has an opinion on art, but that most discussions on the subject end in the fashionable question "what is art?" and then the politically correct statement that "anything can be art", which is the same as saying that nothing is. If I invent a new adjective, and say that everything can be described with this word, then I have invented a useless word that doesn't actually mean anything helpful.

My own idea is that Art should be made a separate category from Self Expression. I would suggest that real Art does not need a blurb, but is self-explanatory to most observers, and recognisable for what it is meant to portray. This also means that creating good Art becomes a task of physical skill again, instead of a mental task of weirding your audience out with bodily fluids and scrap.

Pessimistic Faith

Picture a monk in your mind. Make his facial expression quite clear in your thoughts, because I am about to ask you a question about what he looks like.

My question is, is he smiling?

Mine wasn't. My stereotypical image of a monk was a medieval man in a brown robe, with a mostly bald head and a serious face. Historical Christianity has an image of sombre, serious people. Some images could even be said to be of people weighed down by their belief. Maybe God is a kill-joy.

An atheist wrote an article a while ago in which he commended the relatively pessimistic view of religion. He was comparing this view with what he considered the unrealistic optimism of his current culture. He didn't mean that a pessimistic person was moody all day long- he made a point to say that when good things do happen, a pessimist can be as happy as an optimist. The difference is that only the pessimist will also be surprised.

I have faith in God. But am I a pessimist?

Greedy Optimism

Many people who would describe themselves as "not religious" appear to have an optimistic view that the world generally turns out OK. This view has possibly been influenced by seeing too many movies or reading too many books with shiny happy endings, but the optimism isn't founded on anything more solid that a vague idea that things just turn out that way.

Some of the most visible examples of this for me have been brief updates that people write online. I see people I know writing that they are currently going through a bad time, but that there is hope. Not hope in anything in particular. Just hope! These individuals sometimes quote the kind of happy mantras you might find in a birthday card or on a car bumper sticker, as if these small and cheap products are enough evidence to conclude that life can, and should, be nice all of the time. Strangely, the people who share these ideas about how nice life should always be are among the most frequent to complain that thing's are going badly.

All of this self-enforced happiness about life has recently reminded me of something else in the world- Economics. The way that the world has currently decided Economics works seems to echo some of this same unfounded optimism that I frequently see.

Sky: Behind the Scenes

For the 50^th post on Sky and Field, I would like to offer a glimpse behind the scenes of the Sky- the 12 short stories that I have posted on this blog so far. I have included my own reflections on my work, and mentioned where inspiration for styles and stories have come from. I feel that I have improved over time, and hope that I have more stories to post here in the future.

Belt Life

My first short story was created to present a sci-fi idea I had of an alternative earth. The belt spinning around the world so that people can permanently live in a time of day instead of a country is an exaggerated idea of humans trying to control our universe. I got to throw in a few other alternative-universe ideas too, like companies installing a new ozone layer, etc. The idea could be expanded on at a later date, but I am not motivated to do so myself.

Screwj

A quick trip through a well know Dickensian tale causes Mr. Evan E. R. Screwj to question why he has to die. This parody, starring a more generous human than the original, and a cockney grim reaper, was simply something I used to draw some quiet attention to death as a part of life. Some of my other blog posts have described how I don't think death, as a topic, need be as taboo as it is. Also, dying as "the bad news" hints towards "the good news" (a.k.a. The Gospel) being a remedy.

Focus in Prayer

Often in Church services or gatherings with other Christians, there is time for prayer. By prayer I could mean listening to God, talking to Him, or hopefully both. But my mind, like many, is easily distracted. I can find it difficult to focus for more than a minute. Here are some of the things that I have found affect me personally. What affects you?

Silence does not help.

Silence is too much of an empty canvas. Sometimes when I come home from work I let myself spend a few moments sitting on the sofa doing nothing just to let my imagination out. It can be like an animal that's been pawing at the door all day because it wants to get outdoors. Giving myself space and silence lets my mind breathe a sigh of relief and become less focused, not more.

Short Story: It was The Day

While recently sorting through some security archives- the location of which I cannot name at this time- I found the following transcript. It is a record of a man the document calls "Mr. D Gulling" describing a strange experience to the authorities. It has never been released to the public for two reasons. First, it is obviously nonsense, it cannot be true. It is too ridiculous. Secondly, a note attached to the document records that a member of staff investigated the same location on a later date, and found no trace of the beings or items described by Mr. Gulling. The witness would obviously state that timing was crucial to catch the event, but this only shows how delusional he must have been.

This Blog is Not Relevant

This blog is not relevant to current events. But it is applicable to them.

That, at least, is my aim. While many blogs provide commentary on recent events in the news or within their own communities, I haven't considered myself to be a voice for this. Instead, I have decided to take my time to write out my own thoughts on any topic, detached from the emotion that a currently relevant situation might create.

My aim has been to write pieces on a topic that are general enough to be useful when any event in that category occurs. If I write about suffering, I aim to write something useful and applicable to both the woman whose pet cat has died, the man who has just stubbed his toe on a door, and maybe even the teenager living in a war zone.

2 Reasons to Trust Authors

There are lots of non-fiction books by religious and spiritual people. They often contain views and explanations about life. They often disagree. How do you sort through the masses of material for something worth some of your time?

If you trust the writings of a person, you must trust the authority of that person. I have found that when I look for books to add to my One-day-I-will-read-this list, I am more likely to decide that I trust an author if the following 2 reasons are true.

The Money Lists

At the moment myself and Jenny host a small group (home group/cell group/life group) each week. I once set an activity that focussed on how different people make priorities with their money. I didn't know how it would go, or what we would find out from comparing the lists. But by the end, I was surprised.

What do we spend money on?

First I got the group to think of a list of about 7 or 8 headings that someone might use to categorise everything on a personal budgeting file. The list was fairly generic. It included food, taxes, recreation, giving/charity, travel, savings, and a couple of others.

Fake Fun

It seems that people can claim they have experienced fun in one of two ways- past and present.

The people who say they are having fun in the present are aware that they are enjoying their current experience. It sounds simple, but a surprising amount of "fun" things don't fit into this category!

The people who say they have Had Fun- past tense- have sometimes decided that "fun" is the acceptable label for whatever torment they just went through. I think that this post-trauma-override thing is a bit of self-deceipt mixed in with a knowledge of culturally accepted "fun" activities.

Short Story: The 50 Year Dream (Part 3 of 3)

Read parts 1 and 2 first...

Ten years later...

Another decade had passed in nearly no time at all. Yvonne looked across to see the new man in patchwork, who was still sat on his chair, and on the other side of him, The Entertainer who was holding himself tightly. The Entertainer still wore his colourful green and orange jester suit, completed by his silly hat, but he was obviously not feeling in a jolly mood at that time.

He turned to Yvonne, and muttered, "It hurts when I'm still here and the time moves fast. I didn't know that..."

Yvonne now noticed that a few small wrinkles had now grown around The Entertainers eyes and cheeks. The usually jolly man was beginning to look frail in the girls eyes.

Short Story: The 50 Year Dream (Part 2 of 3)

Read Part 1 first...

Ten years later...

Yvonne slowly focussed again. She had not aged in the second that a decade took to pass, but Martha was still sitting in her deep purple gown, her face looking older again, but just a composed as before. Firgo was nowhere to be seen.

Yvonne noticed that she herself must have sat in one of the seats a moment ago. Her legs had obviously made their own decision that the room was safe enough to rest in. She also noticed that her ears had just heard the door open behind her, and she turned to see who had decided to join them. Yvonne froze when she saw that the figure who had walked through the door was Eric.

Short Story: The 50 Year Dream (Part 1 of 3)

Yvonne opened her eyes to darkness. She was standing upright on more darkness. She was a shy girl who had a hidden, wonderful imagination. She had learned to listen more often than talk, and remained remarkably calm in strange situations. Yvonne already knew that she didn't know how she had arrived in this place. She looked around the darkness in case there was a clue. She couldn't see one, so she tried looking at herself instead. She knew that her name was Yvonne, she knew that she was a 9 year old girl, and she knew exactly where she was- she was nowhere. But as a feeling of peace settled in her, she realised that it was only nowhere to start with...

Practising What, Exactly?

When you apply your faith to your life in a serious way, you say you are a 'practising' member of that faith.

My first question is, which religion do you claim to believe in?

My other question is, do you practice that same religion, or a different one?

The Time of Truth

Compare a tree and a house. The tree begins as a single small item, and the house begins as many small items. Both, over time, grow larger. The one tree expands into many branches. But the many bricks become one house. These are two images of the ways that I imagine a person can seek to understand the universe we live in.

A man could say that we currently have lots of bits of knowledge, but we do not understand enough. He would say that we need to add more knowledge, and when we have enough knowledge, we will be able to bring it all together to build one big picture that explains life. This is like a man building a house. He starts with some materials, like bricks and cement, but he is not happy with what he starts with, and needs to find more. This might be described as the way of philosophy and science.

Another man could say that we have enough knowledge about the origins of the world, and from that, we understand enough. He could say that all truth can be worked out from the foundation. The foundation gives us the simple picture that life fits into. This is like the tree. The seed that the tree came from contained all the information the tree would need. If you understand the seed, you would have no problem understanding the tree. This might be described as the way of religion and history.

You don't want Heaven

Most people in the world claim they want to go to heaven. I think that most of these people are wrong- either because they don't understand heaven, or they don't understand themselves.

If there is an afterlife, it consists of Heaven and Hell. Out of the two, everyone says that they would prefer to go to Heaven, and most of the time they assume that they are heading in the right direction. But have you ever stopped to wonder what it is you are looking towards? If you haven't, why are you so sure you want to get there?

Short Story: Passengers

Several dozen buses were at a bus stop. They were waiting for passengers. There hadn't been a passenger for a long time, and one was due at least 23 minutes ago, according to the timetable. They sat in silence, watched by a single detatched house with eyes in it's two upper floor windows.

Typically, 3 passengers arrived at the same time.

As soon as one bus spotted them he raced up to let them on. But the other buses, no less eager, revved themselves up and hurried to do the same. A clamour of buses of various sizes surrounded the poor humans, honking their horns, waving with their windscreen wipers, and growling "Pick me! Pick me!"

Know, Really!

You know a lot of stuff, don't you? In your head, I mean. You do a lot of stuff with your hands, too. You've got quite a lot of skills if you think about it. But would you admit, with me, that what we have in our head often contradicts what we are doing with our bodies?

Many times a day, I say "I know," when a friend or family member tells me something, but within moments I act as if I didn't know anything at all. "Careful! That oven tray is hot," my wife might call to me in the kitchen, and I reply "I know," as I reach for it with bare hands...

Small mistakes resulting in burnt fingers, and other consequences, happen every day, and it's not something to be too bothered about, is it? But 'being human' never limited us to only making small mistakes. Big ones happen too...

Trust and Power

- An action hero, before an explosive scene in a movie
- A parent, teaching their child to ride a bike
- Every politician, when the elections come around again
- Jesus, in the Bible
- Your friend, passing a suspicious drink to you
- A woman trying to convince a man to buy something
- A man trying to convince a woman to loose something
- A spiritual medium, who needs to pay the bills
- The leader of an army, before taking them into war
- A con man, assuring you of a secure investment
- A doctor, calming your nerves before an operation
- A blog writer, telling you what your life is missing...

These are all examples of people who say, in one form or another: "Trust me."

My Own Lie

I have mentioned in another post that I believe in Free Will. I mentioned that I believe the purpose of our free will is to make a choice to either accept or reject God within this lifetime, and that everything else is secondary. But I will now mention what I believe to be the most powerful and yet possibly ignored power of this freedom we have been given.

I'll point out an instance from the Bible which backs up this belief, but first I'll introduce it with a scene from Terry Pratchett's Discworld novel "Mort", where the skeletal Death has just hired his young apprentice, and taken him out for a curry in the middle of a busy city...

The other diners didn't take much notice, even when Death leaned back and lit a rather fine pipe. Someone with smoke curling out of their eye sockets takes some ignoring, but everyone managed it.
"Is it magic?" said Mort.
"What do you think?" said Death, "Am I really here, boy?"
"Yes," said Mort slowly. "I... I've watched people. They look at you but they don't see you, I think. You do something to their minds."
Death shook his head.
"They do it all themselves," he said. "There's no magic. People can't see me, they simply won't allow themselves to do it. Until it's time, of course. Wizards can see me, and cats. But you're average human... No, never." He blew a smoke ring at the sky, and added, "Strange, but true."

Time is Money?

Time is money? No. I have a full time job, so I know that's not true. I do get paid for my time, but I only get paid for my time in the office. No-one pays me to come home and have a meal with my wife. I don't have a salary for relaxing at the weekend. I don't claim trips to see family on expenses.

Some of the time I give my employer becomes money. But the rest of my time is just time. Not money.

Maybe they are comparable because I spend both of them. How do I spend time? Do I spend it the same way I spend money? Yes, I think I do. I think you do, too. People who hoard money and possessions as the most valuable thing in their lives often seem reluctant to spend much time relaxing without distractions. Rich people- despite being rich- seem very busy. Work hard, earn money, keep working hard. It looks, to an observer, like it might be difficult to break the cycle and really switch off from production mode.

But do I hear you saying that everybody falls into this category? Well, it's true that only a working man will earn a wage. But my thoughts are aimed more at the idea of this being a cycle that enslaves us. Does this have to be the case?

Philosophy and Circles

A common criticism I see online is that someones worldview, or philosophy for life, is circular. It is considered a negative point when someones opinion of how things work backs itself up against any questions.

An example of a circular argument that would annoy an atheist might go something like:
"There is a God, who is beyond our understanding."
"Can you prove that?"
"Not conclusively, no, because he is beyond our understanding."

It is obvious that a circular argument can be annoying, but I do not think this refutes it. Other than circular, there is only one other form that a worldview can be, and I do not think it is necesserily superior. The other form is incomplete.

Short Story: Of Family

I was once on a plane, flying from America back to London. I didn't have much to occupy myself with for the flight, but fortunately was sat near to an old austrian man, and beside him was a well-dressed business woman. He introduced himself to her, and in a friendly and polite way asked her whether she was on an outgoing or return trip, and what she was looking forward to on the other end.

She answered, with a quiet and reserved voice, that she was returning home, and looked ahead to seeing her children. She suddenly seemed to open a barrier, and admitted to the old man that she had recently withheld help for her friend in order to spend more energy on her family. But although she regretted this, she had promised herself that she would help her friend later, when she had more to give, and believed this was the right thing to do. After all, she said, friends come and go- but family is special.

Picking your News

Most weekdays I check the BBC News website, to keep myself vaguely in the loop with what's happening outside of my bubble. I learned this habit by choice- I did not learn it from my parents, because my parents got their news from the TV.

Have you ever wondered at the differences between the two mediums, and what difference they make to each of our two generations, when it comes to our knowledge of the world?

Newspapers are a third gateway to this knowledge, but they seem to be increasingly replaced by the other two. A paper did not dictate what you got or when you got it like the television did, but the internet has provided the same freedom more effectively.

Short Story: A Vision and A View

Wisley hopped out of the shop, his stubby boyish hands almost dropping his new toy camera. But no, he would say, it wasn't a toy. It was how he was going to become famous, and no-one would be allowed to call him names! Just like the latop with which he created the world-renowned social website, and the spare parts with which he had invented a new kind of bicycle that became the latest must-have at the back of thousands of other kid's sheds. Except that this idea would work. And happen. In real life, not just in his daydreams.

It was going to happen because last night he had accidentally found- whilst not looking for anything other than innocent and appropriate television, by the way- a documentary about the amazing life of the celebrity photographer, Kent Kildroy.

Human Rights

I don't believe in human rights. Hold your fire! What do I mean by that? Well the word I'm really focusing on is 'Rights'.

Our 'rights' state that one thing is true, because of another: We deserve shelter, water, food, clothes, etc., because... We were born.

Do you see the same cracks in this assumption that I do? We 'deserve' things because of... birth?

It makes sense to give a gold medal to a man who comes first place in a marathon against hundreds: he has worked hard, and the gold medal is our way of saying we recognize your work and reward your achievement. But it started with his choice to work hard and aim for a good position in that race.

Short Story: The Myth of Khu

Before time began, was Khu.

Khu said to part of himself, "Be other than myself," and it was so.

The second Khu was called the World. Khu walked on the World, and tested how spongy it felt under his feet. The World felt himself pressed down by Khu, and said, "Ow."

So the World thought to itself, "Khu walks all over me, as if I am dirt! Well, I suppose I am dirt, but that's not the point... I will change myself, so that part of me Khu can walk upon, and this will be called Ground. But the other part of me, Khu will not be able to walk upon- instead, he will sink, and be submerged so that I will be over him. This will be called Water."

And so it was that the world was divided into Ground that seeks to help, and Water that seeks to dominate.

Maturity and Dependance

Say the world understands 2 states: Immature and Mature. The aim (in most cultures, I wonder about ours at the moment) is to move from Immature, which we are born into, to Mature. Our aim is to grow mentally and emotionally, just as we naturally grow physically.

A lot of the world seems to assume that these 2 labels are parallel to 2 others that we naturally go through- Dependant, and Independant. This view says that being Dependant is child-like, inferior, and Immature. But when I become Independant, I am adult, superior, and Mature.

It's easy to see where this view comes from. From birth, we Depend on adults to survive. But as we grow older, these caring adults encourage us to become more and more Independant. That, at least, is the word commonly used, but I don't think this is the best target to aim for. Maybe parents encourage Independance so much because a part of them is impatient for their loved ones to fly from the nest! "You need to learn to be Independant" (for 'be Independant' read 'Go Away'.)

Short Story: The Man, The Shell and The Roads

A baby boy was born. While kept asleep, implants were surgically attached to his nerves. The bleeding baby was then put inside a time pod, a button was pressed, and in 3 seconds the boy became 30 years older. The echo of an infant scream lingered in the air for a moment, like the ghost of a childhood.

The basic-movement implants demonstrated that they were functioning when the man opened the door and stepped out of the pod, amd stood face to face with the Grower. The language implants were also set up correctly- the man presented his first question to the Grower, who stood firmly upright with his hands behind his back.

“What is my name?”

“Your assigned name is Doystin,” replied the Grower in a level, professional voice, “And you are a human man.”

The Character of God the Father - Part 2

The following is the second half of a talk I gave at the WYnet Passion conference 2010/11. (See my previous post for part 1). The theme for the week was Character, and I opened the event with this to say about God the Father, with the character of Jesus and the Holy Spirit being expanded on in later evenings.

In the first half, I have mentioned that our ideas of our Heavenly Father are not to be founded on our experiences of our earthly ones. I have also said that God Creates and Judges, and that judgment in the sense I used is the natural result after creation.

Loves

“God Loves you, He Loves me, He Loves everyone!” This side of God is probably so loudly proclaimed and tightly held onto by Christians recently that you can start to glaze over it, or forget that the Love of God is going to be more extreme than our own flimsy ideas about an emotion.

The Character of God the Father - Part 1

The following is the first half of a talk I gave at the WYnet Passion conference 2010/11. The theme for the week was Character, and I opened the event with this to say about God the Father, with the character of Jesus and the Holy Spirit being expanded on in later evenings.

When talking about God the Father, it is useful to warn of an obvious point. The following is not a quote from the Bible:

“In the beginning Dad created the dinner and the dessert.
Now the evening was empty, darkness was over the screen of the telly, and the lasagne dish was soaking in the waters.
And Dad said, "Let there be sex," and there was sex.
Dad saw that the sex was good, and nine months later, he really saw the light!
Dad called his child an embarrassing name, and the nurse a naughty one.
And there was evening, and there was morning- the first day without rest.”