My Theology-Worship Cycle

My belief in God doesn't seem to change, but my reactions to the belief do. I think that I go through cycles of actively being in relationship with Him and then learning and thinking about Him, one after the other.

I think that both part of this cycle are good and healthy, but I wish that I found it easier to do both at the same time.

For several days I can be aware that God is within me and present because of my relationship with Him through Jesus. I will enjoy talking with Him, listening for guidance in tasks, and find it easy to focus during times of worship.



But as I speak with the God who is bigger than the universe, who is so mysterious, I can't help but want to know more about Him. I want to learn about Him, because surely if I did this I would be able to appreciate Him even more. I will note here that my desire at these times is not that of a student wanting to cut open and probe a small item, but of a student wanting to explore the history and character of his hero.

As mentioned before, I find it difficult to hold both worship and learning in balance. As I read books about God or the Bible, I am satisfied by the mental stimulation, and will often enjoy sharing what I have found with others. But as my eyes are so drawn towards a page of human writing, they are at the same time drawn away from seeing the present and active presence of my God with me.

It usually doesn't take long before I realize that I am a saint who has developed the habits of an academic observer. I become aware of the growing danger that I may be talking about God more than I am talking with Him, a sure way to become a negative hypocrite. My response is to put aside the knowledge and helpful books and say "Hello," to God again, like a son returning to a father. The return is slightly embarrassing on my part because I know that the lack of recent intimacy is due to my own faults. But the return is also easy, because I know how much my father loves me.

From this point, you can see that the cycle continues with worship, study, worship, study, etc.

My aim and hope throughout this cycle is to become better at merging the two. Alister McGrath summarizes in his book 'Mere Theology' how theology and worship should be intertwined:

"Finally, we must emphasize the link between theology and worship. Theology has done its job well when it leaves us on our knees, adoring the mystery that lies at the heart of the Christian faith...
Worship provides a context for theology, in that it represents a vigorous reassertion of the majesty and glory of God... When theology becomes dull and stale, worship can rejuvenate it...
Yet theology can also act as a corrective to worship... true worship is not improved by whipping up the emotions or turning up the music; rather it is enhanced and authenticated by reflecting on who God is, and thus naturally yearning to respond in praise an adoration."

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