Forgettable Influence

An annoying thing I've spotted is that the times you are most likely to deeply influence someone are also ones that you are likely to forget.

I'm talking about the times that you give a piece of advice, teach someone something that you know, demonstrate something. The person you do this for, or in front of, feels that this is a huge revelation and they remember that moment for years. But if they speak to you about it years later, talking about "the time that you taught me..." whatever, you have no recollection of that moment, because for you it was a fairly ordinary one.

I've had this happen to me, and I've done it to others too.

I think the reason this happens is because the forgetful (or ordinary) moments are the ones most likely to have that big impact in the first place. If you are consciously trying to impart some deep wisdom, people pick up on the fact that you are trying. They know that it's coming from your head, not your heart. But if you say something succinct or take an extreme action with actually thinking about it too hard, then a person listening to or watching you will realize that this is something you genuinely believe, that it shapes your behaviour. That enables the feeling of big impact they get. They realize that this isn't just some pretty words, it's something you can live your life by.

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