Bad Christian Jokes

Sometimes it's fun to laugh at how bad something is, including jokes. So I have created the following list of jokes, which are common jokes given a rubbish twist by some imaginary Christian with no sense of humour...

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To convert the unbeliever on the other side.

What is black and white and rolls down a hill?
A zebra that God smited because it was proud of being on top of the hill.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!
I worry about the state of your soul.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The Englishman points out that three men going into one place bears some resemblance of the Holy Trinity, but the Scotsman warns that such a metaphor would be heretical, and the Irishman prays for the Englishman's soul.



How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but God is always with him.

A man walks into a bar. Therefore he is a sinner.

Did you hear the one about the deer?
Well you shouldn't have. That would be gossip and gossip is a sin.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Jesus.
Jesus who?
Jesus Christ the son of God.

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a woolly jumper?
An abomination to God's creation.

How long is a piece of string?
Not as long as eternity in hell.

When is the best time to go to the dentist?
Never; pray for healing.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead find a lamp, so they rub it. A genie comes out of the lamp and says that he will grant each of them one wish. The genie is clearly an agent of Satan so the women hire a priest to perform an exorcism on the lamp.

What is brown and sticky?
Sin.

What do you call a gorilla with bananas in his ears?
A tragic symbol of the fall of creation.

What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?
A dinosaur that will have trouble seeing where to board the ark.

Why is the number 6 afraid of the number 7?
Because it does not know the peace of God.

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