Both sides of the argument about whether it is OK or not refer to a few bits in the Bible, sometimes the same ones! I am going to leave the task of interpreting scripture regarding this to minds smarter than my own. But I would like to describe 4 possible things that a person may consciously or unconsciously mean when they say "It's wrong for a Christian to date a non-Christian", and my thoughts on each motive or reason.
"It's wrong for a Christian to date a non-Christian because..."
1. "...The Church is a members-only club."
This might be the reasoning of someone who thinks of their religious group as one that can only be joined by similar-minded religious people, and the partner of a member is practically a member themselves. I disagree with this. When said out loud, it obviously goes against the outreaching example that Jesus gave Christians. We should be welcoming anyone into the church- there is no minimum standard, there is only grace.
2. "...Christians are better people."
This might be the reasoning of someone who thinks that Christians are, on average, nicer persons than those who are not Christians. Or somehow superior in character. Well, this is another line of reasoning that I disagree with. Christians are human, and all humans are born imperfect. Even after we are saved, we are still a work in progress. Also, it is not difficult to find a kind agnostic or a polite atheist, and the church makes no claims about holding a monopoly on pleasant people anyway.
3. "...It will be an obstacle in the relationship."
This might be the reasoning of someone who thinks that the differences in belief between a Christian and a non-Christian will be, sooner or later, a source of disagreement that could threaten the stability of a relationship. I think that this is true. But I do not think it certain that different beliefs will force a couple apart; many disagreements are resolved in romantic relationships, so it may be possible with this also. Unfortunately, I suspect that the disagreements it produces will be some of the deepest; topics like the life of an unborn child or the death of a close relative, for example, will quickly link to spirituality and the purpose of life.
4. "...The Christian's faith is likely to be compromised."
This might be the reasoning of someone who thinks that the difficulty stated in the previous reason will cause a Christian to compromise their faith as they seek to reduce conflict with their partner. This could be a slow and subtle process that takes place in the small daily choices. I think that this is a possibility, but again I do not think it is certain to occur. It will just be very difficult to resist.
In conclusion, I only agree with the 2 reasons which originate from concern for the Christian's emotional and spiritual well-being. I do not think it impossible, on a practical level, for a Christian and a non-Christian to maintain a relationship. But I do see the difficulty and danger in it, and can understand why it is not recommended.
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