Religious Duality

Duality is where a person behaves differently around different people. I've gotten the impression that most of us notice ourselves using it while growing up- you learn to behave differently around your teachers than you do around your friends, for example. It can appear common sense in some situations, but in others it may cause us to question whether we are being genuine.

Of all the relationships a person can have, perhaps the most far detached categories are people and God. We relate to people every day, and can choose to relate to God as well, but should we behave differently around the creator of the universe because we cannot see or touch Him?

I am not referring to whether we should respect God or not. That is a question for beliefs and relationship, not for duality. I am instead asking whether we should be behaving very differently to God during our conversations with Him compared to when talking with friends on the street.

Several years ago, I suspected that a duality, a difference between how I talk with God and how I talk with family, might be my self trying to act religious, which I know from Jesus' teaching will get me nowhere. (Remember, duality is about how I talk, not what I talk about.) So when I am having a good day, and feel content and joyful with life, when I pray I will talk to God with that same joy. I will not try to hide it. Likewise, if a bad day has left me feeling angry or depressed, and I step into church and a time of sung worship, I will not make myself lift my hands and clap wildly. Instead, I will make myself stay honest before God, and bring Him my grumbles and my muttered hallelujahs.

I have provided two different examples based on the spectrum of emotion because these are easy examples to provide, however I do not mean to limit duality to how we feel at any one time. There is also the level of respect or authority that we confess or assume, hidden in the tones of our voice. There is a choice of language that we may only be partly aware of, such as using slang more frequently around friends than workmates. Our body language and stance may be different with work colleagues and spouses. Duality covers many parts of our communication.

But if my stated approach- being honest with God, not forcing myself to behave other than how I have arrived- is going to be considered the 'right' one, then the way Christians often lead other Christians may have to be 'wrong'.

During sung worship in particular, commands are given from the front of church to rouse ourselves into joy, and to dance to indicate that we have believed the truth. Even the lyrics of many songs have us singing that we will not stand still, or we will kneel, or, going beyond actions and actually dictating our own emotions, we will love, fear and adore our God. This starts taking me into familiar thoughts about how faith mixes with psychology, and at what point do religious activities become brainwashing? But I will leave that question until I can answer it with more clarity than I currently can.

The emotional switch that some people make in duality seems fake to me, and I aim to avoid bringing that into my faith. But even a foul mood does not change what I believe about God. I don't see why clapping my hands and smiling makes me a believer in God more than standing solemnly. I could point us to several books in the Bible that are less than joyful. I have found that I can collapse under depression and still be able to proclaim that Jesus has saved me, and that God loves me. At any time I can ignore my emotions to declare the truth about God.

So I will admit that the non-emotional aspects of duality have a hold in my faith. I can praise God at a moments notice, but not necessarily in the tone of voice you might always expect. I think that this is due to how I have decided to behave towards God based on what I understand about my relationship with Him. My hope is that my behaviour is based on my beliefs, and not on what I have observed and copied from others. Maybe duality is not always a bad thing.

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Image source: http://theragblog.blogspot.com/2012/01/leonardo-boff-will-it-all-end-in-greece.html